Me, the Hoarder

I have a confession, I am a hoarder. . . A hoarder of memories- just ask my kids- on any given day they are guaranteed to hear "you know, when I was little Blah. . Blah. . Blah", ramblings of my life that I feel the need to share, again and again, over and over like a broken record. 

Amazingly, the kids love it. In fact, they ask to have these memories of mine repeated and I do not disappoint! I relive the time my dog ate my Easter candy (see post below), I talk about eating sand to impress my older sisters friends. I share stories of digging a hole all the way to China and knocking when I got there (I leave out the fact  that I actually dug a hole in the backyard down to the top of the septic tank and only thought I was knocking on "China's Door" until my dad wandered out into the backyard and asked why I was knocking on the sewer tank-- ahem, sewer whaaattt????) I relive the hours spent with my grandma and the fights I had with my sisters, I tell them about riding our big silver propane tank like it was my horse named Horse( see the imagination at work?)--  and the kids, like little sponges, suck it all in.

There are days now when I stop and say to myself  "take a picture with your brain, don't ever forget this, remember how you feel, remember what you are smelling, remember what you hear, and lock it away."

I pray to God all the time that old age, dementia or Alzheimer's will never rob me of my memories-- they are little treasures, in fact, they have become gifts that I share with my daughters-- my hoarded memories:)

If it only happened once, is it really a "tradition"?

Heart Shaped toast. . . .I made it once on Valentine's day, ONCE people. . .and now I hear "It's Valentine's day, where's the heart shaped toast?, you allllwwwwwayyyysss make heart shaped toast!!!!!"

Um, no, that was "working mom", she made heart shaped toast and she made it one Valentine's day because she felt guilty because she had to work 9 hours and miss your Valentine's day party. This new mom,  "stay at home mom", well, she has all the time in the world to make heart shaped toast so you see,  it's not so special anymore.  Hold on!!! That didn't sound so nice- and honestly I didn't say that, I only thought it. But as I thought it I really began to ponder the question of when does a tradition become a tradition??

We have many traditions in our family, we have the "Love Bugs" who come every year the week before Valentine's day, we try to catch a leprechaun every St. Patricks day, we have breakfast in bed on birthday's and yes, those breakfasts do come with heart shaped toast. . . so at what point do you repeat something and make it part of your family? I would have to say, when it feels good, when it brings joy to your children's faces, that would be a good time to start a tradition.

So, I guess "stay at home mom" is starting a new tradition tomorrow morning- heart shaped toast on the morning after Valentine's day :)

I have lost my funny bone, and don't know where to find it

In the life of a stay at home mom, there are many opportunities daily to laugh. Unless, you have lost your funny bone- as is my sad case. I'm not quite sure where or when it happened. Perhaps it was a few weeks back at 1:00 a.m., 3:00 a.m. or 4:30 a.m. when AnnaBella had me awake to suck the life out of me only to regurgitate it back up onto my neck and shoulders or maybe it was the day I did 13 loads of laundry and still wasn't caught up. . . .regardless of when it happened, it did and I miss it.

Had I not lost my funny bone, I am certain that this past Monday ,when the girls had a snow day, I would have been laughing. Instead, I was horrified  as I peered out the front window to check on them only to see a few strange items adorning their sleds as they pulled each other behind their bikes.Squinting harder to examine what exactly was tied to the sleds revealed to me that someone had found mommy and aunt me-me's display case for that short lived stint as Passion Party consultants. To my horror, I ran bare foot out into the snow grabbing at the sled  "Give me "those!!!!!!", "NO!!!! leave us alone!!!", "I said GIVE ME THOSE!!!" at which point a struggle enthralled. . . me yanking and pulling "What did you tie these with?? where did you get these???" Abigayle now defeated shrugged her shoulders and pointed to the front yard  "under the trees", "WHAT???" , "Amelia had them over there, what's the big deal you big meanie!" At which point I realized my bare feet were now turning blue and I probably looked like a crazed maniac to the neighbors as I was shrieking and yanking at my poor daughters sled. . . .I ran to the garage cursing my own stupidity for not having found a better hiding place for all the unsold inventory, shoved the "items" back into the open box and went in the house. My greatest fear now is, come spring when the snow melts, what treasures will be found beneath those trees???

Another event that had me truly mourning the loss of said funny bone, was the singing of the "hush little baby" lullaby performed by none other than resident potty mouths Abigayle and Amelia. I was in the bathroom getting ready and Abigayle and Amelia were entertaining AnnaBella in my bedroom when I heard " Hush little baby please don't cry, mama's gonna give you her big boob, if that boobies nipple is too big momma's gonna buy you a new titty"  followed by hysterical laughter then "shhhh, she'll hear you, sissy!!!" I am to assume that the "she" they were referring to was ME. Have I become that hostile and grumpy that a child's lullaby sang to her sister about big mamma's boobs would not have me writhing with laughter and belly guffaws? Apparently so. . . .oh how I do miss that funny bone.

My BooBoo

I am still amazed and baffled by the fact that I have three children. . . Never, and I repeat never, did I imagine I would be a baby factory. But God has blessed me with three of the most beautiful girls in the world. AnnaBella being the newest addition. . . I love this child!

Not moving from tradition in our family, we have bestowed upon AnnaBella a slew of nicknames. . . Bella, FussyFartyPants, BooBoo, Boo and most recently Boobs. . . All quite fitting. . . Even "Boobs" as she has packed on quite a few pounds since birth. . . Yes Pounds, not just ounces. Her pediatrician can't believe she is breastfed, let me tell you about that.

At first, I wasn't totally convinced I would be able to nurse BooBoo, she wasn't born with a good "latch" and the cow wasn't exactly producing the milk, until. . . .enter into the picture Dr. Karnes and his team of "manipulation specialists". I received a shakedown that would have had the breasts of a dried up corpse producing milk. No joke. A firm clutch in the armpits and 30 minutes of shake,shake,shake and voila! The cups runneth over. Modern medicine at it's finest. During this shakedown BooBoo was also getting "manipulated".. . Hers not quite as intense, a little pressure on her cranium and she was ready to go.

BooBoo now nurses as if 100 babies are waiting in line behind her and she isn't leaving a drop for the masses. Her technique can be compared to that of a barracuda. . . I don't think that needs explaining, you get the picture. I have had to adapt to this quite quickly. . . Had I known ahead of time that this would be her technique I would have spent that last few months of my pregnancy preparing by going to the car wash and hooking the industrial vacuum hoses to my nipples for 30 minute intervals 12 times a day.

Ten weeks into the ordeal I can defiantly say we are on a roll, now that my nipples are comparable to tanned cow hide and BooBoo is realizing that those 100 babies ,well, they aren't really there. Love you BooBoo!

Our anniversary~

Yesterday was our two year anniversary. I took Abigayle and Amelia with me to pick up a card for Derek, (sorry Punkin, I'll get it out of my car for you soon and give it to you!)

I was in the sappy, lovey- dovey section of the cards when Abigayle brought over a ginormous card that  said in all caps on the front "HOT SEX TONIGHT"-- with a cartoon couple all tangled together-

Abigayle: Punkin will like this one,not sure what it means but the people look happy

Me: uhhhh, probably not Abigayle

Abigayle: Why, what does ssssseeeeexxxxx mean?

Me: okay! I'm getting this one, let's go! ( as I half finish reading the one in my hand about soul-mates and best friends)

Abigayle: sex

Me: Stop it

Abigayle: sex, sex, sex

Amelia: Shexxxxy

Me: Knock it off! (in a low growling whisper)

Amelia: Mommy's get Shexxy legs


Next year- I go alone for an anniversary card!

I was lucky. . . .

Grandma~Today is your memorial service at Nelson Place, all of  your friends will be there and tomorrow will be your funeral at your church. These will be two very hard days, but I must remind myself. . .I was lucky.



I was lucky I had you all of my 37 years. You and you alone taught me to love God when I was a child.That love planted in me a faith and trust in God that has been given to my children, and I thank you for that.


I was lucky I grew up right next door to you. You were the first person I thought of when I woke up every summer morning and I couldn't wait to run over to your house and ride my bike and have you tell me I was Speedy McGraw. I couldn't wait to swing with you on your back patio, I couldn't wait to run through your sprinklers and eat strawberries or cucumbers from the garden with you.

I miss you everyday Grandma and it hurts. Even though I can't just stop by your apartment anytime now to see you, I can close my eyes and I am flooded with wonderful memories. Every single memory is a happy one~ you were and are amazing. If the world had more Mama Marshmellow's in it, it would be a more wonderful place.


Thank you for being my Grandma, my friend, my helper and for loving me. Thank you for being the mother you were to my mom as well, not many people have the bond that you two shared and I was lucky to be part of that.


Until we see each other again, I love you Grandma, with all my heart~

Easter

Today, I thank Jesus for giving his life to wash me clean of my sins. The temptation life throws at us daily is unmerciful at times and knowing that when I fall, even though no one else may know, except God, I am forgiven- and that to me, is everything.

I also thank Jesus for giving me my babies, Abigayle and Amelia--  they have taught me the kind of  love that God has for me-- unconditional, never-ending, everlasting. All else in this world can come and go, but the love a mother has for her children is  infinite-- barely describable --  it can only be rivaled by the Love that God has for us.

I am truly blessed to have such love in my life and am thankful for days like Easter that  remind me of this.