Monday, April 2, 2012

My sisters- and the awful day!

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My sisters are my best friends; I don't know what I would do without them. In the past year, I have  had  a brief glimpse of what it would be like without one of them. My older sister  Marci, in a sheer act of selfishness, packed up and moved herself to Arizona -- imagine the nerve! Not once getting permission from me, my sister Marie or our mom, Millie-- the great and powerful Millie!

I miss her everyday and look forward to her brief visits. Thank God the "rest of them" ( Marie and Millie) haven't had  any bright ideas. . . I must say though, if I didn't have school aged children you would see a mass exodus, with Marci being our Moses, parting the way to sunny, warm Arizona.

I think often about my relationships with my sisters, each uniquely it's own. In fact, the other day I was reminded of the uniqueness of these relationships when I had an awful day at work and called Marie as soon as I left.

I told her how I was in an unexpectedly long meeting where I forgot to bring a drink or a snack- why would these be of such importance? Remember people, I am lactating and this process burns through the calories like a fire through dry brush! Any way. . as the meeting progressed so did my stomachs cries for food "grrrrrrGGGGRRRR,rrrrrrrrrrr" "

"so, sorry, just a little hungry"

And then it began, my ears started ringing, my mouth got dry, cold sweat started forming ALL over. I could feel my blood sugar drop, drop, drop. . . and then it was over- the meeting that is.

I darted out and shot to my office where I tore through 6 mini Twix's like a beaver going through a chord of lumber, downed 12 ounces of mountain dew like a college kid shot gunning a beer and then as quickly as it started, it stopped. . .and I realized I had to pee.

I shuffled off to the restroom, feeling a little light headed and shaky, but much better then the prior  15 minutes. I entered the stall- and this should come as no surprise to those who know me- grabbed the can of disinfectant and with my right foot pushed the flush handle as I began to spray the germs away.

Now, this isn't just any toilet, it's an Al-Bundy super flusher-- a mans toilet! You know, the ones that flush with such force you worry that if you sat while flushing you'd wind up with a hickey on your nether side the size of a saucer. As this super powered toilet was flushing and I was spraying, the lid flew off the can and was immediately sucked down into the toilet hole causing a vacuum effect,  which in turn forced the toilet water that should have been going down to spew back out of the toilet with great force, right into- you guessed it- my face.

I got into my car shortly after that and called my sister:

Me: I had a shi-crappy day at work

Marie: why?

Me: I had a long meeting, got overly hungry and. . .( insert above story here)

Marie: So. . What your telling me is you gave yourself a swirly?

Me: Uh, I suppose

Marie: In your own face?

Me: Something like that

Marie: With toilet water?

Me: Yesss, I just told you what happened!

Marie: So, let me get this straight. . .you gave yourself a swirly, in the face, with toilet water. . . . at work??

Me: (silence)

What followed can only be compared to a hyena ,make that a pack of hyenas. . . laughing and chortling and then gasps for air as my sister taunted me like I was some side show freak.

"you, hahaha, you. . you...got toilet water in your mouth!!"

"no, I didn't"

"you did,!!!you got hahaha. . .pee water in your. . ahahaha mouth!"

"NO, I DID NOT!"

"Pee water drinker, heeeeeheeee you're a pee water drinker!!! BAHAHA!!

"GOODBYE MARIE!!"