My amazing Amelia

There are days when something truly amazing  happens and I realize that I am not completely failing at this thing called PARENTING.

I believe my feelings of failure sprout from some evenings at home  when I feel like a broken record "Abigayle, Amelia, Annabella, please stop. . . .don't touch each other. . . no you can't call your sister a penis,  . . . . .blah,blah,blah. . . ."

Annabella can cry non-stop and no matter what I do I can't console her , Amelia can tear through a room leaving a tasmania devil like aftermath and refuse to help clean, Abigayle can rival the greatest debater alive without backing down and so I wonder. . . .am I being the mother I am suppose to be?

Well,this past Sunday we were out to eat and as we were finishing up Amelia, my little hoarder, asked if she could take the kids menu home- A food smudged piece of laminated paper with all the food choices available- corn dog, $1.99, macaroni and cheese, $2.99, chicken nuggets, $3.99. .. . .- I told her she could take it but she would have to stick it in the activity page they gave her so they wouldn't see her take it-

And then it happened, my little Amelia grabbed my arm and pulled me closer and whispered in my ear "Isn't that stealing mommy?"- My heart stopped- I could not believe what had just happened! I was telling my child to steal, and not just steal, but to HIDE it!!! What kind of mother am I???? In my mind I was letting her take something that I perceived as a cheap piece of paper that she could take home and play restaurant with- one of her favorite things to do.

I almost burst into tears, I looked right in her eyes and said "You are so right Amelia, Mommy is very sorry for saying that, Thank you for being so honest. . .let's put it back on the table" and she did with a very big SMILE.

I know that I have taught the girls all ten commandments, we talk about what is right and what is wrong, and consequences. . .I now know that they listen and as a parent I have to make sure I am not saying one thing and telling them to do another. .. . so thank you, my little Ameila Bedelia, I love you to the moon and back!

Linguistic heirlooms

So, I was enjoying my weekly dose of nerd radio when I  heard the most exciting commentary - a lengthy discussion of " linguistic heirlooms". You know, words and phrases from a time not so long ago- words and phrases that are rarely used any more and when they are leave the receptor scratching their noodle.

The discussion brought up words like "dope" which was said instead of  a coca-cola, and "poke", instead of a bag or tote bag.

Listening to this radio show made me think of words that my Grandma used frequently and I decided to see if I could confuse the masses, and by masses I mean Abigayle and Amelia.

Me: "Abigayle and Amelia! Go to the front room and get your stuff off the davenport!"

And just as I suspected the girls looked baffled.

"Uhhh. . . What do you mean Front Room, mom??? And, what the heck is a davenport??"

It worked! I had in my vocabulary Linguistic Heirlooms! I felt so powerful! What fun these little morsels of history are going to bring. . . If only I could remember them all!

Next I might send them on a wild goose chase to listen to some 8 tracks or clean out the basin so they can take a bath!

 I also  remember my Grandma and Grandpa never ate dinner- it was supper. In all my parenting years I've never made the kids "supper" , so I asked Amelia "what's for supper?" and she pondered for a moment "hmmm, tacos?"

SHE KNEW!!

"How do you know what that means?"

"Uhhh, in the olden days ,mom, everyone ate SUPPER!!!, duh!!!!"



Click here to see for yourself- a fascinating listen!

The night life!

In my imaginary perfect life. . . . .I have three beautiful daughters  (this statement is true of my REAL life as well). In my imaginary perfect life  my three daughters all nestle in cozy at night, at a reasonable bed time, in their own beds. . . . in real life, all three fight bedtime as if it is an overgrown hairy monster trying to eat them alive.

* Image portrays actors, not my real family!- However, this is THE CASTLE!

When they finally do go to bed, it's never in their own rooms. Right now, as  we speak, I have a hot pink and purple vinyl princess castle set up in all its glory next to  my side of the bed. At the foot of the bed is a pack and play, stocked full of fuzzy  stuffed animals and soft snugly blankies- and right next to that is a "nest". A "nest" made of pillows and blankets hmm.. let's see. . . .what else did Abigayle find in the linen closet to add to this "nest"--oh,  a tablecloth, a beach towel, a pillow case and a cloth diaper.  This, folks, is my bedroom- you know the place where mom and dad are suppose to be able to find refuge from the everyday- hunker down at night,cuddle and fall off to blissful sleep with all the chitlins tucked away in their own beds. Not happening in my home!

 Every night as Amelia crawls into her "castle" she flips and flops, she rubs her little get away sticks together which all creates a very loud crinkling of vinyl- I seriously am thinking about having this child professionally checked for restless leg syndrome. Abigayle has her own peculiarities- she jabs her toes into Amelia's castle "on accident" for what seems to be hours- provoking Amelia to say "stop it sissy". . . . .2 minutes later- "stop it sissy". . .. . .  1 minute later-"stop it sissy". . .. . .and on and on.

Then the grunting starts. .. its a nervous condition, I'm sure- Abigayle  starts it  around 5 minutes after bedtime and continues until she falls asleep. . .this provokes me to say "enough with the unh unh Abigayle". . . 2 minutes later-"ENOUGH with the unh unh Abigayle!". . . . .and on and on.

This is all taking place while I'm patiently trying to nurse AnnaBella off to sleep. . . .who, has become quite adept at playing possum. Just as I slowly lower her into her pack and play at the foot of the bed she springs to life and starts bouncing around. . . "dadadadada. . . .. dadadadadada"- Sorry boo bear it's bedtime and then the crying-"WANNNNGGGG"

So, as you see, my imaginary perfect world is no where close to my real life- but I guess I am okay with that.

One day when I am old and grey and the kids have long left home- I know I will look back and think "It sure would be nice to have a hot pink and purple castle next to my bed right now with my little Amelia in it- or to hear Abigayle grunting away or have AnnaBella snuggled up in my bosom"- so for now, even though there are those days, I mean nights, when I feel like I am going insane I need to calm my mind and enjoy every second of it:)

Oh,  did I mention during this whole ordeal- SOMEONE is rolled over curled up and snoring away without a care in the world. . .hmmmmm I wonder who????

In Cahoots!

I think enough time has passed that I may safely write this blog without fear of being prosecuted.

 It was one of those nights when I just didn't feel like cooking- if you ask my husband that would be every night, but that is beside the point. I was also missing my mommy, Abigayle and Amelia time- something that brings nostalgia from a time not so long ago.

 So the three of us were off to Olive Garden* for our yearly dose of garlic and carbohydrates. As usual, when we were being seated the two of them started arguing "you sat with mommy last time!" "no, sissy YOU DID!!"  Then the pushing started.  "Get out of the booth sissy, I AM SITTING THERE!!!!"

 If you've ever met my children, you know just how loud they can be and believe me they were not holding back for sake of their public surroundings.  As I hissed for them to both just get in the dang booth with me I looked up to see a coworker "Oh hello, how are you? Yes these are my two wild beasts that I occasionally bring out of the basements cages. . .what's that? Oh no, they just haven't had their daily electric shock therapy never mind us! Carry on!"

As we sat packed like sardines in the booth we decided on our dinners and then the inevitable " I have to pee." Really? We just left home where I know I said "Make sure you go the bathroom" at least 10 times.

No difference, Abigayle had to pee- So out of the booth we shuffled and the two of them were off. About 15 minutes later they returned, ALL giggles. " Shhhh sissy, don't tell HER!" "Tell HER what, Amelia?" - as if HER was not the obvious ME!-

"Nuffin! Nobody is sayin' nuffin about anything!"

Really? I was quite confident that between these two I would eventually find out.

And then Amelia " Sissy. . . .gurgle,gurgle ahahahahahah!!! Followed by Abigayle giggling which turned into Abigayle belly laughing, which turned into Abigayle not being able to breath as she slapped her hand on the table repeatedly.

 "What are you little minions laughing about?" I demanded.

 "We told you, NUFFIN! Right sissy? We aren't going to say anything about your underwear!"

 Aha! A clue! I knew these two were up to no good. So let's see- gurgle, gurgle plus underwear. . . Hmmmmmm "Say, Amelia. . . Did Abigayle flush her underwear down the toilet in the bathroom?"

 The looks I got from both of them were as if they were looking at the great Houdini, as if I had just become "Marsha, The Great Mind-reader".

 "Uh. . .no mommy, no I uh, she , uh, no mommy." And both of their heads went down and didn't come back up to even meet my eyes for the rest of the dinner. Although, every 2 seconds one of them would start giggling and then the other would follow with "gurgle".

The next morning, as I was waking them up for school I announced that the night before, after they went to bed, I got a phone call- "From who mommy?" "Oh, the manager at Olive Garden."

The look on their faces was priceless. "What did he want" "You're lying!" "No, he got my name and number from my debit card and wanted to talk to me about the bathroom."

They both turned white as ghosts. . . "So my little sweet innocent bambinos, anything you care to share?"

This was followed by "Abigayle made me do it!!!!!!!"

I won't share what they did, but I am sure you can guess. I would like to point out though- this whole incident really did impress me as the two of them kept a secret from me, together- creating a temporary bond that resulted in NO arguing or fighting for the remainder of that night- until the next morning when Amelia was way to quick to say "Abigayle made me do it!!" ahhhhh, famous last words!


*name may have been changed to protect all parties involved- lol!