Christmas

Remember the anticipation of Christmas when you were a child? I remember going to bed every night the week before Christmas and laying there so excited I would kick my legs under the sheets and smile ear to ear- basically the way I feel now about a good bottle of wine.

My mom use to play Bing Crosby for weeks leading up to THAT night, and occasionally throw in a tune by Gene Autry or Anne Murray. .  ."Silver bells, silver bells, It's Christmas time in the city, ring- a- ling, hear them ring, soon it will be Christmas day".

Christmas eve meant Grandma's rice krispy treats and her 500 square foot home filled with 20 plus people. (Smokers to the back of the plane, please. Ten and under, you're in the laundry room at the "card table") I don't know if the walls expanded on holidays, but her house seemed massive, with room for everyone. These are memories I will forever cherish.

And then Christmas day-  one year Marie and I both got Cabbage Patch Kids, after we opened them I had to excuse myself to the bathroom and I sat there on the bathroom floor crying because my doll was so damn ugly "Why God?? Why Me???" as I punched the fluffy bright yellow toilet cover- I was in 5th grade. I look back at that now and just laugh, but still agree- that doll was hideous. Sorry mom and dad! Little "Cecilia" was in that cabbage patch for a reason. . . . .

Fast forward 29 years and here I sit, Christmas Eve, presents all wrapped even more excited because I can't wait to see how happy my kids are going to be tomorrow morning. I think about the true meaning of Christmas -Abigayle texted me today while I was at work to remind me that the amount of gifts they get is a true and  accurate reflection of my love for them "Yes, it issssssss Madre"- and to think that  I wonder why I often question my parenting skills?

They know the real meaning of Christmas but it's so easy to get caught up in the gift giving. I would give my children everything and anything they ever wanted if I could- but the most important thing I can give them is a relationship with God.

My own relationship has been an amazing journey,  I am not perfect at all- a true work in progress. I just want to be loved and give love. God tells us the greatest of gifts is love, ICorinthians 13:13. So at Christmas and going forward I will promise myself to take love where I can get it and give it whenever I can. And continue to make wonderful memories for my girls at Christmas and always. . . .

Merry Christmas-xoxox