God help me. . . .

I have to admit, it wasn't until later in life that I began thanking God on a daily basis for everything I have. Yes, I believed in God and yes I had given my life to him but the whole concept of a true relationship with him didn't really happen until a few years ago.

In fact, I will say that I viewed people who went to church every week and proclaimed to be christians as intimidating. I felt inferior to them. In my mind, I put them on a pedestal right up there with God. And then I began my true journey and little by little I saw things in certain people that I had thought to be the epitome of christianity that  made me sad. These people  put on a "christian" mask and would then go about  their day gossiping, speaking unkind words, acting in the most selfish manners, displaying greed for their own benefit- I could go on and on.

Proverbs 15:27-33 says "A greedy man brings trouble to his family, but he who hates bribes will live. The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. The LORD is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the righteous.  A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.  He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding. The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor."

My grandma would often tell me how evil the tongue can be, that it is like a snake and once a word leaves your mouth it is almost impossible to take back. I know many snakes, and over time have removed them from my life- how happy I have been every time I realized it's by my own willing that these people have been allowed into my life- and how easily it has been to excuse them out of my life.

I am not claiming innocence at all- on any level, but I am thankful that I no longer put anyone on a pedestal because of their claims of christianity. I have been appalled in many instances by things that have been said and actions taken by people. I've spent many hours in my mind trying to make sense of it and I've come to a conclusion- these people are not for me to judge! Many times I repeat in my head
1 Corinthians 4:5 "Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God." This is so hard for me though! I struggle strongly with wanting to judge others for how they act - but then I realize I am to be judged as well.

Sometimes I wonder "How can God love these people???" And then I think of my own unconditional love for my children- they could lie to me, tell me terrible things, hurt me and I know my love would NEVER change. I just LOVE them, no matter what! Yes, they may make me sad but I would never turn my back on them. So that is how I understand God's love for all of us.  Luke 10:27 tells us  "‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself." God calls us to walk along everyone and love them. . . . Admittedly, this will be a life long struggle for me because it's so hard to love a hateful person, someone with selfish intentions, people who have no mouth filters. To them I say -your lucky God loves you- because I'm struggling with even being able to breathe the same air:)  And then I will thank God for the air!