Defending the "CoUgAR"

I have to laugh, am I really a "cougar"? Being the "older" lady that I am with my 25 year old husband in tow? I had a reality check this summer when a pleasant lady, who I might add, was obviously vision- impaired, knocked on my door and offered to take my children to her house for "bible"study" because my "son" had told her the day before that it might be okay.

HOLD UP! First off, weird lady-- I do not have a son!-- oh ,you know ,the tall blonde boy? You mean my Fiance??? GULP. . no expression and secondly, WHY would I let some stranger take the fruits of my loins to her house, UN-supervised????? Okay, question my prioritization here. . both were equally disturbing!

So, in true cougaress fashion I made a little appointment with a small needle filled with what I like to call "the fountain of youth", while at this appointment I figured what the heck a little jar of "defy all gravity" might help too! and maybe I'll start lighfting a little weight to ,uh. . bring back to place what gravity has "shifted"

That young boy mentioned earlier, now my husband, thinks I'm crazy. Crazy would be me thinking that I'm going to age gracefully! I will, and I repeat, will fight mother nature! See what I'm doing now is called "prevention" it can't form if you don't allow it to-- a wrinkle that is!

So here I am, paralyzed forehead, grey roots dyed, eyelash regrowth serum applied, limbs aching from lifting a two pound dumb-bell waiting for my next big "idea" on looking more youthful when a message is sent from above. . "dear Marsha, you don't have to do it all! All those things that are prematurely aging you can be applied to "the boy" to expedite his maturity. . " Well slap me and call me Susan -- that is a perfect idea!

So I have said to my dear Derek. . .you look awesome when your face is sunburned-just awesome! You look cool when you smoke! I love it when you inhale a Big Burger Challenge at Pints and Quarts! Did I mention how hot you look with a sunburn?


After all we're in this together right???