Monday, May 12, 2014

An ode to For-tay




Yesterday was Mother's day and I spent the day at Double J water park with the women and mini-women of my family. I am not typically a water person, especially when it comes to communal bodies of water containing little children in swim diapers and middle-aged hairy men, but this was a special occasion so I partook.

I began with floating in the lazy river with my rear end marinating in the communal waters while AnnaBella rode me like a donkey - only to acknowledge me when she bounced really hard and said "giddy up dumb horse!" 

Once accustomed to the 45 degree water, I was coaxed up 6 flights of stairs by Abigayle where I had to  carry a two-man inner tube with the promise of - " I'll be good if you go down this with me one time- it's real slowwwww. . . . "

It will be fun she said, I've been down it 20 times she said. . . . . 

I was told to get in the front hole of the tube, which I did, as Abigayle hoped in the back only to ram her legs and toe nails up under my arms and back around my chest like a python preparing it's dinner- "Ready Madre????" she bellowed, and we were off.

I've never felt impending death before, until yesterday. Riding shot gun on an inner tube going mach 80 into a black plastic tube filled with water while a human boa constrictor squeezes every panicked breath out of you can bring that feeling on  rather quickly.

I'm quite certain at one point in the dark tube we were airborne, yup, pretty sure that happened because I felt the crunch of my spine on the come down-- and then daylight emerged, revealing a swirling vortex of water that took our  tube and showed it who was boss  until it slowed just enough to head towards another black hole. . . .but not quite before we had turned completely around and were headed backwards, I felt the boa constrictor tighten it's grip and say "No, NO, NOOOOO, not backwards!!!!"- dang lying boa constrictor!!- and then  we were shot like a tangled, soaked, rubber cannonball into a pool of water... .giving us each a wedgie we're still working on getting out today.

There stood my mother,  2 sisters, Amelia and AnnaBella. I made it! AnnaBella was clapping and my mom was smiling- I hadn't died! I was going to make it one more day to see the big 4-0!!! or at least I thought- Abigayle had other plans, she kept me in the tube and demanded we float down the lazy river. . .FINE!!! I was already soaked and this was the easy part. We got to the wave pool- she jumped out and said "I'm taking you to the water fall" I didn't realize by "taking me to the water fall" she meant "I'm going to hold your tube under the water fall and not let go. . . ."I kicked and swung trying to get out of that dang tube. . .  I caught glimpses of her through the down pour of water as I sputtered "I can't breathe!!!!, I cannnn't fricken breath you little. . . . "

Later, as I sat there watching other kids hold each other under the water fall I had to laugh at how I must have looked- fighting for my life in 2 feet of water sputtering and swinging, is this my life at 40? Why yes, yes  it is and I wouldn't change it for the world-

Being 40 means I don't care anymore- I don't care what other people think or say. 40 means I am beyond that. It may have took me 40 years to realize this but I finally have. I can dance crazy with my crocs on and golf shorts to my own song about shopping (thanks Marci). I can tell people I love them and not expect anything in return( thanks Abigayle, Amelia and AnnaBella). I can ask for things because the worst that can happen is that I am told no (Thanks mom). I can cry if I need to and not care if it's an inappropriate time. I can state my opinion as fact because after 40 years I've honed that opinion to perfection! I can confess my love for God and know that I am his (thanks Grandma). I can laugh inappropriately at any given time to inside jokes containing references to Billy Madison, Water Boy, Joe Dirt and many more (thanks Marie). I can drink like it's my job and make it anywhere the next day with a smile on (thanks dad) and I can forgive and know that I am important  (thanks Derek).

I can't wait to see what the next 40 years brings!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment